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“I’m fine son, you don’t have to do anything for me. I just want to see you happy and healthy. That’s all I want from you.”
These were my mom’s words before tears started flooding down my eyes.
There’s been few times in my life when I’d felt so powerless and meek.
Truly pathetic, according to my own standards.
Despite my effort for years on end, this was the result. Nothing.
What I heard wasn’t ‘you don’t have to do anything for me’
I heard her clear as day say: ‘you can’t do anything for me even if you wanted, so it is what it is.’
And she was right because nothing was working.
- I tried flipping sneakers.
- I tried throwing parties for tickets.
- I tried making content.
But by the end of it all?
I was 40k in debt, lost all my friends and got right back at square 0.
Actually.. probably closer to -10 if I factor in the elapsing of time.
And I’m not even mentioning throwing away my academic career in the process. So it would be far closer to -1000.
I had to watch my mom suffer for years without being able to do anything significant about it.
And that hurt. That hurt a lot.
Not the kind of pain a physical injury imposes, but the slow, motivation-zapping, soul-numbing and spirit-crushing kind of pain that lingers in the back of your mind 24/7. Ceaselessly reminding you of your failure and incompetence, without even being rude. Rather by simply presenting the facts.
Why did none of my endeavours succeed?
- No resources.
- No prior experience.
- Not focused enough.
- And one to model and follow.. amongst many other excuses.
I wanted with all of my being the power to change mine and my mom’s circumstances, but I simply couldn’t. I had no power nor agency and thus was not able to provide for my family.
And that feeling of helplessness killed me.
“Time to get a job, I suppose…
It’ll provide all the stability I need.
I could even go on a vacation with my mom after a while.“
WRONG!
Honour & Dignity
I hold a strong belief that a man must always protect his honour and dignity.
And quite frankly, I find there’s little dignity in relying on a another man to put food on YOUR table.
This idea haunted me every hour of every day and was my main source of motivation, besides aiding my mom.
How could you live with yourself knowing that your family is dependent on another man’s decisions, work ethic, mood and choices?
- How does that not haunt you?
- Eat you up alive from the inside out?
- Terrorize you in your sleep?
How could you be ok knowing YOUR family’s survival is dependent on the whims of another man?
HOW?
I wholeheartedly believe that employment rarely grants one the opportunity to protect his honour & dignity.
- Because you’re likely constantly apologizing over silly matters, which devalues your character.
- Because more often than not someone is monitoring you as if you’re a infant and not a grown man who can make his own decisions.
- Because another man is dictating how much free time you get and when you can eat your lunch. Where is the honour in this?
- Because you have very little say in how much you earn and are basically accepting scraps for payment when you’re earning the business much more than what they’re paying you. Which automatically translates to you being paid LESS than what you are worth. And there’s little dignity in that, in my humble opinion.
Does this mean employment is always bad?
No. Absolutely not.
I think a 9-5 really can save lives.
I believe it’s perfectly fine and wise to be employed if you can’t earn money any other way.
I believe, despite being rare, that there are jobs out there which pay handsomely and offer fantastic benefits (though this is highly dependent on your competence).
I believe most people would be happier being employed than running a business (because most people couldn’t bare the stress of running a business).
I believe that everyone who is employed should always be kind and respectful to his colleagues and employers and do his absolute best to fulfil his duties and responsibilities for the company’s sake.
And I certainly don’t think employment isn’t a viable option for everyone.
Here’s the caveat:
Except for people who want more out of life.
- People who seek rare and unique experiences.
- People who seek great wealth and riches to provide an enjoyable life for themselves and families as well as being pillars in their communities.
- People who seek great influence and power to do good in the world and have an impact.
- People who can’t tolerate the idea of being under someone else’s control or being bossed around.
- People who love competition and fighting it out to find out who’s the best.
- People who aren’t afraid of taking on risk against seemingly insurmountable odds for the sake of winning big.
- People who are sick and tired of their generational curses and poverty-strikken traditions.
- People who want to provide the utmost comfort and stability for their families.
Amongst many other traits I could mention, but you get the point. People with high agency driven by vision couldn’t tolerate the normal route.
In other words, my kind of people.
And although I strongly hold this belief and have done my absolute best to live by it, I must admit to something.
During my most heart-wrenching period when I was 40k in debt with fixed expenses to the top of my head and had just recently lost my friends, I got a job.
But…
I only lasted 13 days.
And it was door-to-door commission-based sales.
So I still don’t count that as “being employed” in the normal sense.
It would have been nice to have a clean record, but sometimes in life you got to do what you got to do to survive.
And painful as it was with as many tears and stress and burnout and hair loss and undignifying work it got me to do and bare (cleaning toilets), I still didn’t give in to the temptation of full-time employment.
Your job?
To look yourself in the mirror and decide how you want to live.
To be honest with yourself which outcome you desire to attain in life and pursue the appropriate path.
Choose safety and comfort now at the cost of great thrill, respect, wealth and freedom later?
Or take on risk and dedicate yourself to an unknown outcome and an unknown time-horizon for the chance of attaining those things?
Your choice.
Choose wisely. Choose quickly.
Time is ticking.
Tick…
Tock…
Modern-Day Hunting
“He who is brave is free.” — Seneca
Besides being his honour, It’s a man’s duty and responsibility to gather resources and sustenance for his loved ones.
We are biologically wired for it— this is how God deemed the order of our inter-gender dynamics to be.
I hunt, the woman cooks. That’s the proper order.
(subliminally teasing modern, trojan-horsed, destructive to the family unit, feminist views)
Thus a man must strive be a hunter.
A hunter?
Yes, a hunter. Someone who is capable of going out there amidst the dangers of the world and coming back with valuable resources.
In alignment with this definition, entrepreneurship is the closest modern synonym we naturally arrive at.
Why?
Because they share the same identifying characteristic: ‘Choosing independence, despite great risk.’
No food?
Go out there with lions and tigers to hunt some.
No money?
Go out there with sharks and hyenas to get some.
Exact same thing.
This might come across as an exaggerated statement if you’ve never run a business, but trust me when I say it’s a jungle out here.
Your competition suddenly changes from your peers, whether that’s students or recent graduates or other employees, to millionaires and billionaires with great systems, networks, capital and influence.
And these people didn’t earn their power by being nice to the small guy. They executed ruthlessly to drive out the competition.
And now..?
You are their competition.
With employment, however, you’re outsourcing this self-reliance for the guarantee of safety. (Unless you work in commission-based sales. Shoutout to all the hyenas on the frontlines)
So, yes. There absolutely are risks with entrepreneurship and they’re very real.
This is what makes entrepreneurship a double-edged sword. On one hand you’re free in this regard, because you’re not dependant on anyone. But on the other hand you’ve no one you could truly rely upon.
And more often than not it’s you fighting against yourself.
- “It’s not even worth it man, this is too painful. I haven’t even earned a dollar yet.”
- “I can’t believe I sacrificed so much for this. For nothing.”
- “Entrepreneur my a**. Where is the revenue?”
- “Forget the revenue, how much are we taking home??”
The choice to quit is always hanging right in front of you.
And for the sake transparency, I’ve often entertained the idea.
When you’re down bad, the pressure is up, the debt is piling and progress is absent, that idea is as gorgeous as a sun-kissed woman with silky dark hair. Her flowing curves draped in silk that catches the light, her perfume, inviting, lingering in the air like a forbidden promise, her eyes soft and intense holding temptations that make your heart race and resolve weaken.
I’m talking early 2000’s crazy Angelina Jolie staring you right in the eyes, gently asking if she could give you a kiss.
“May I, handsome?”
Me personally? I had no choice.
I threw myself with the sharks without floaties or diving-gear by completely discarding my academic career.
- I had no job opportunities.
- No stable income.
- No resources.
- No network.
- No capital.
- NOTHING!
Just a vision and blind faith.
It was do or die. (I detail that story here)
My business HAD to work, otherwise I would die. (at least it felt that way)
Despite often holding eye contact with this woman though all she’s ever heard from me was “excuse me miss, I got work to do.”
You could always settle for a safe and guaranteed meal if you’d like.
No more running against cheetahs or hunting against lions.
But understand this..
It won’t be the biggest chunk of food for the lion’s already had his belly full and the hyenas have scavenged most of the rest.
Want to stay in the fight instead?
Great.
My sincerest compliments to anyone who is brave enough to fight for their freedom.
Attaining your freedom won’t be the only benefit though. You will also:
- Develop your capacity for handling risk by growing a thicker skin.
- Grow emotionally stoic, able to handle rollercoasters of emotions.
- Develop character by facing adversities and difficulties.
- Grow competent and capable of solving real problems for people and businesses alike.
And with a little bit of patience.. freedom is yours.
Not the type of society-provided freedom that children enjoy.
I’m talking about real freedom.
Freedom that is granted by competence and strength.
Freedom that can’t be stripped from you because people CAN’T take it.
POWER. That is what grants one freedom.
Hang around lions long enough and you become one yourself.
This is crucial to understand if you seek to attain the status of a free man who enjoys great agency.
It is not by accident, or by being nice to everyone, or by being a push-over, or by being agreeable that one amasses the capital, leverage, respect and agency of a free man.
It is by force.
Not necessarily violent force, but certainly the capability of it.
If you see a lion in the wild, you wouldn’t dare approach it to pet it would you? And you certainly wouldn’t attempt to snatch its food from its mouth.
You’ve heard of his superior power.
You’ve heard of his superior agility.
You’ve heard of his superior senses.
And that’s enough to deter you from attempting to take his resources.
This is how one attains freedom.
By being competent.
By being powerful.
By FORCE!
Speaking of senses though:
Employment Dulls Your Senses
“It is impossible to have a great life unless it is a meaningful life. And it is very difficult to have a meaningful life without meaningful work.” – Jim Collins
I have never been employed in a comfortable environment but there’s few circumstances one can find himself in more comfortable than employment. (door-to-door comnission-based sales isn’t exactly what I’d describe as “comfortable employment”)
- “Meh, I’m getting paid anyways.”
- “It is what it is.”
- “I just work here.”
- “It’s not my problem.”
- “I’m just doing what I’m told.”
- “Nope. I don’t get paid enough for this.”
- “That’s above my pay grade.”
- “That’s not in my job description.”
- “I’m just here for the paycheck.”
- “I’ll do it on Monday.”
Alright, reasoning101: never trust someone who talks about something they haven’t experienced themselves. I know.
But, one can also reason for themselves.
I could get a scientist to verifiably convince me the sun is bright.
Or I could simply look at it, almost get blinded, and arrive at the conclusion myself that: “indeed, the sun is bright.”
I know from close friends and basic observation that practically no one finds employment to be engaging, fun or dare I say nourishing for the soul.
It’s often reduced to “It is what it is. I need the money, what do you want me to do?”.
And whilst the comfort of employment can feel better temporarily, it’s at the peril of your sharpness and development.
Why does employment do this?
Because you’re rarely challenged enough for any real growth to take place.
For those of you familiar with flow and learning psychology you know what I’m talking about here.
The most effective learning takes place when one is sufficiently challenged.
Clear examples: an MMA fighter wouldn’t get better if he only fights beginners who can’t even throw a jab. A math professor won’t learn anything new by doing basic addition and subtraction. A sprinter won’t get quicker if he only jogs. Etc. etc.
It’s an unfortunate reality, but this is what most people spend their entire lives doing.
- Cashiers clerks.
- Cleaners.
- Administrative assistants.
- Data entry specialists.
- Customer service representatives.
- Warehouse workers.
- Retail associates.
These are all jobs that take very little mental effort to do. Which is why these will be the first jobs and people to get replaced with AI and automation tools. It’s a scary position to be in.
Being engaged, on the other hand, due to an underlying real, tangible and felt risk feels rather incredible in comparison. When did men ever have 0 risk associated with living and surviving anyways? This is nothing but a modern standard that has caused great deterioration in both mental sharpness and bravery alike.
For those of your who’ve trained or regularly train martial arts, you know you can’t be distracted.
BAM. Your jaw is now almost broken or your limping on your leg.
Entrepreneurship DEMANDS your full attention.
You can’t just simply “get by” by doing the bare minimum.
YOU WILL GET CRUSEHD.
Of that you can be certain.
Working hard is the norm in entrepreneurship. Furthermore, hard work only gets you one foot in the door but if you want to win in a significant way you have to put in extra work on top of the extra work. Otherwise you won’t be able to compete.
And that competition puts your soul on fire.
Which feels… wonderful.
Responsibility feels wonderful. Risk feels wonderful. Proving people wrong and yourself right feels wonderful. Focusing single-mindedly on 1 thing and 1 thing only for prolonged periods of time feel incredible and unexpectedly fulfilling. Commitment gives a man purpose in life. It’s how we’re wired as men! We NEED risk and responsibility to feel alive.
- “I’ve worked hard for years, I can’t let up now. I’m almost at escape velocity.”
- “This has taken my blood, sweat and tears I’m not letting these people win and get the final laugh. OVER MY DEAD BODY!”
- “It’s all or nothing now. I don’t see a road ahead, but I’m jumping anyways. I’ll figure it out.”
These might sound like far-fetched, motivation-video, highlight-reel, overdramatized and romanticized sentences but this is actually the watered down and sugar-coated version of your mental cassette recorder.
If you’re a first-generation entrepreneur I’m sure you can relate.
The first first few years are nothing but a constant, fatiguing battle with your own mind.
And yes, you very well can and likely will experience burnout at some point, but at least it’s a unique experience. I’ve certainly had mine.. and it didn’t last a couple months either. It went on for a full year.
And this is what loses you your edge in employment.
Your mindset and attitude get dulled and comfortable, not enjoying nor experiencing the full capacity of your senses. Which is rather unfortunate because, despite being emotionally challenging, it feels great to be pushed to your edges and challenged and broken and set aback and stressed and anxious and worried and tired to then push through and fight day in and day out for many somber days, slowly watching the colours shifting from dark blues and greys to beautiful vibrant oranges and yellows with you standing tall and proud at the end of the rainbow reflecting and smiling that you survived and persevered and overcame what would have broken and killed many.
In other words, you feel like a warrior standing atop a great battlefield.
And I can tell you first-hand there is nothing on planet earth more satisfying to a man’s soul than the feeling he gets from surviving overcoming and surviving great risk and danger. (except for Lord Jesus, of course)
It’s simply incomparable.
Once again, I’m not saying employment is a bad short-term strategy or even a long-term — IF the work you’re doing is engaging, fulfilling, meaningful (contributes positively to society) and growth-inducing.
Even a job at McDonald’s could be meaningful if it’s challenging enough. But you’d likely have be below 13-15 years-old, otherwise you have grown too competent and capable for your life to be reduced to a burger flipper. Don’t let this discourage you from doing what you have to to get by though, as we’ve already discussed. Always thug it out when you ahave to. Chin up chest out too.
(With ‘a job at McDonald’s’ I mean jobs characterised by low mental effort required to succeed).
Not only that, but there’s also been studies which clearly indicate a direct correlation between challenge levels and cognitive sharpness. I believe that called the ‘Yerkes–Dodson law’.
Image taken from here.
To be frank though, I wouldn’t recommend anyone following in my footsteps either.
Though it sounds cool and won me an extremely unique battle-story, throwing my academic career and pursuing entrepreneurship with 0 resources was far from wise.
I essentially threw myself from the ‘boreout’ sphere straight into the ‘burnout’ cage, locked the door behind me and gave the key to a monkey who ran away with it. It is truly by the grace of God that I managed to pull off building a successful company despite my circumstances.
Things are going rather well now, if you’re wondering how things developed after losing all my friends and being held captive by the clutches of debt. Praise be to be God, but I’m practically financially free now (the yields from my assets pays for all my fixed expenses).
I did it however, because I’ve always intuitively known that real financial, time and location freedom can only be accessed by means of entrepreneurship. There simply isn’t any other way. Not on this earth at least. And the sooner you confront this reality, the sooner you’ll be able to behave accordingly.
See for me, agency was the goal all along.
So what is this agency that I’ve mentioned a few times?
Agency = Power = Freedom
- Spiritual Agency (jesus)
- Mental Agency (growth mindset, no limiting beliefs, matrix awareness, ego development)
- Relationship Agency (abundance in relationships, understanding of healthy relationships, emotional maturity)
- Financial Agency (5-7 flags theory)
https://thedankoe.com/letters/how-to-become-the-main-character-of-your-life/
Agency – and the good life – is belief in the difficult.
Agency is a belief that all problems are soluble.
Agency is the process of doing good science.
Agency = the ability to make decisions and act independently.
If you’re anything like me, what you’re after is agency. As men we’re all biologically wired to seek independence and self-reliance.
Agency, in other words, is your ability to make choices outside of someone else’s influence.
Believe as you wish, but I find there’s great dignity in this. There’s a beautiful quote that perfectly encapsulates this.
Success is simply when you are living a life you chose. Not the one handed to you by fear, fatigue, convenience, or social applause, but the one that reflects your actual values, tolerances, limits, and desires. Chosen lives feel different, they have coherence, even when they’re hard, and dignity, even when they’re unfinished. Everything else, like status, money, recognition, validation, becomes decoration. Agency is the substance.
Think you disagree?
Let me prove otherwise.
Who do you naturally respect more?
A homeless man on the street or a wealthy businessman who does great serving his community?
It might be a harsh reality, but you’ll obviously have more respect for the businessman.
Why is that?
Because he has fancy cars or clothes?
No.
It’s because he has agency.
He has went against the grain, dedicated himself, pursued his own whims and desires and managed to seduce reality to give what he seeks out of life.
And that’s granted him the ability to do as he wishes. Which is respectable.
In other words, he has power.
And that power gives you freedom.
The ability to fight off undesired states of being is what grants you freedom.
- I don’t want my children raised in bad schools and I can send them to private school. That’s respectable.
- I don’t want another
It’s this alignment of personal values and actual circumstances that people respect, because it communicates integrity.
Why do people respect integrity?
Because it’s God’s code in our hearts to live morals lives according to His standards.
Freedom
the state of not being imprisoned or enslaved.
the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants.
- Financial freedom.
- Time freedom.
- Location freedom.
Creativity
- I despised my technology and resources not matching the speed with which I could process and operate.
What is the unique solution, and how easy is it?
- A boring business.
- Smart partnerships
Time freedom
- Because being employed = assigning someone else the control over your time and activities you do during that time.
Moral Law
