If I tell you you are to never worry, would you believe me?
Do you immediately start thinking about the 1000 problems in your life right now?
- Your rent in a week.
- Your broken car.
- Your annoying boss.
- Your non-existent companion.
- Your barely breathing business.
- Your unfulfilling job.
- Your lack of resource.
- That one addiction you can’t shake off, or perhaps don’t want to.
- The list goes on..
We all have problems in our life.
That might very well be the identifier you are alive.
It’s certainly been the common thread in mine.
I come from the most dangerous city in the world and experienced first-hand the darkest realities of this world.
I was born and raised in Aleppo, Syria. An oddly beautiful city with a refined soul prior to the war.
The sense of community and connection you feel with your neighbours or local store is unrivalled by most first-world countries.
Everyone struggled together and shared a common feeling of ‘we’re in this together’.
But as you all know, war struck.
It came blitzing fast and immediately tore the folk apart.
You were either with the regime or you weren’t. Pick. NOW.
Within the span of a few short years everything went to hell and after a year of living in those dire circumstances my dad finally decided it was time to flee.
How dire? Allow me to elaborate with a short story.
Since there were constant water shortages everyone bought big (circa. 1000m³) water containers and placed them on their building’s rooftop.
This meant that neighbours shared the same rooftops space.
When the water supply was cut, these came in very handy.
But what happened when the shortages weren’t so short? A 1000m³ for a family of 5 can run out fairly quickly.
And so it did. Even though we were very efficient with the water, trust me.
The next alternative was buying water bottles.
Okay, what happens when those run out?
You went and got water from church.
I distinctly remember carrying 2 20L gallons from church to home once. Despite it not being that far, I literally couldn’t lift my arms afterwards to eat a shoarma wrap.
Okay, what happens when the church water runs out?
Well…. you had to get creative.
And at such a moment of desperation, creativity struck my dad.
We grabbed the biggest gallons of water we could get our hands on and went on a mission.
Where?
To the rooftop.
Little did I know I was the lead operator in this mission.
- We went upstairs.
- Unlocked the rusty metal door.
- My dad immediately headed toward our neighbor’s container.
- Grabbed me by the arms.
- Placed me inside.
- And gave me a gallon to fill with water.
“Fill it up and handed it to me son.”
I then asked: “Dad! Isn’t this stealing?”
“WHAT? NO! Don’t say that. We’re just borrowing son, it’s ok.”
So I simply nodded and followed commands.
Funny times..
This is one of many war-stories I have, but I tell it to illustrate a point.
My life has been a never ending sequence of major problem after the other.
And even though I’m extremely grateful that’s been the case, for it’s built me into the man I am, it has come at a price.
My peace.
I’ve experienced lack in many areas of my life, but none compare to the absence of peace of mind and peace of heart.
I never truly knew or experienced real peace until one key moment.
A moment that changed everything for me.
My first encounter with God.
It was here that I was set on a trajectory to discover real peace and comfort of heart but it didn’t come easy. I’ve had to fight it out with my mind and life’s circumstances to arrive at the conclusion I’ve arrived at.
I’ll disclose the conclusion I’ve arrived at near the end and no it’s not as simple as “never worry”.
In the following chapters I detail:
- My season of tribulation and loss of all hope for peace
- Battling my mind’s beliefs about worry and anxiety
- Exploration of worry and stress neurochemistry
- And journey to discover God’s promises to conquer worry and anxiety once and or all.
Along with a few business lessons on how you can leverage the mass anxiety of people.
I would consider myself a shrewd samaritan after all.
I’ve learned better than most to make the best of whatever circumstance life presents you with.
So then.. how did I encounter God?
My First Encounter With Peace
“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” — 1 Peter 5:7 NLT
Everyone has a few key moments in their lives where the trajectory is irrevocably changed.
My first encounter with the Holy Spirit was one such moment but prior to sharing the story though, I’d like to address a technicality.
After immigrating to Europe I actually felt a great sense of peace. In retrospect, however, it’s as clear as day it was dissociation masquerading as tranquility.
I was cold and emotionless.
Like a nurse working a 12-hour shift in an overwhelmed emergency room, who calmly moves from one critical patient to the next without processing the trauma she’s witnessing. Not because she doesn’t care, but because allowing herself to feel would make it impossible to function.
I trusted no soul with my mind, and certainly none with my heart.
“Leave me alone or I’ll make sure of it”.
Such was my mindset.
Everyone who wasn’t family or a very close friend, of which there was very few, I simply ignored.
In other words, I had a heart of stone.
Nothing interested me except for conquest.
I cared for nothing but 1 thing and that was winning. That’s where I got my solace from.
Until the following happened…
I was having dinner with someone I’d recently met—my current business partner and brother in Christ.
And as we watched a podcast we were discussing recent events in our life; about business, how I recently moved out with 5 friends to live together or weird spiritual events etc.
Then suddenly, he turned the tv off and asked me a simple question with a tender look in his eyes.
As if he knew something was about to happen to me.
“Can I pray for you?”
“Sure”, I said.
“Is it okay if I lay my hand on you?”
I paused for a moment.
….
“Sure, that’s fine”.
I then closed my eyes and intently listened as he started praying.
“Those are nice words he’s speaking. Don’t hear that often.”
They came from a place of heart I wasn’t familiar with. A place where compassion resided.
They carried a certain love and sincerity with them and were as gentle as ocean waves at night time.
1 minute passed by..
2 minutes passed by..
And the prayer was done.
I still had my eyes closed and didn’t think much other than “kind and sincere words”.
But despite that, I didn’t feel any different.
Nothing particularly profound struck me.
Not until I opened my eyes that is.
And boom.
It hit me all at once.
It came rushing over every fiber of my being.
From the soles of my feet to the crown of my head.
From my body to soul to spirit.
From empty to overfilled in a second.
It hit me like a truck driving at 100km/h face on and propelled me to a realm I knew not existed. A realm made up of a sensation I had never felt before.
Peace.
For the very first time ever, I felt peace.
No gunshots in the background, no one screaming, no one crying, no one fighting.
Just peace..
Not the fake peace drugs or emotional numbness provide you.
I’m talking about real peace. The kind that transcends all understanding.
And since this was a novel experience, I didn’t know how to deal with it.
Eventually, as I sat there for a brief moment trying to collect my thoughts, I could not contain myself.
I cracked.
I burst out laughing for minutes on end.
I COULD NOT STOP.
Nothing but childish joy and peace overcame me.
I laughed my heart out like there was no tomorrow.
I was truly on cloud nine as they would say.
Every weight I carried in my heart was lifted and every weight on my shoulders was dropped.
I would have won a ‘who weighs less’ competition against a feather in that moment.
Someone took every responsibility from me.
Who?
God.
“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” — Philippians 4:7 NLT
A Heart Of Flesh
Looking back at it now, that was the moment I received a heart of flesh.
“And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.” — Ezekiel 36:26 NLT
And with that came an unexpected 2nd order consequence; I started experiencing the full spectrum of emotions again, including negative ones.
Emotions such as fear, worry, anxiety, and stress became vivid realities, to which I now stood wholly vulnerable.
Emotions I had buried long ago. Emotions I never learned how to deal with.
But the Spirit of God came gently knocking to claim the last sealed room of my heart where trust had never been allowed to dwell.
I, however, didn’t know how to trust and had to settle this debt of ignorance.
For just as quickly as I experienced that peace, I lost it.
- I got baptized and received the Holy Spirit.
- I got attacked left, right and center.
- I had 0 authority in the spiritual realm.
- I had no idea who God was.
- I didn’t know how to trust Him during trials.
- And I didn’t recognise His voice to discern truth from lies.
Which left me victimized to deception and manipulation.
“Power is bad. You should be soft like Jesus was.”
“You’re better than your friends because you “don’t sin””
“Is God really with you all the time? How can you get attacked at night?”
“Don’t you miss watching porn? You can’t possibly never watch it again, right?”
“It’s ok to sin every once in a while, I’ll forgive you”
Despite me doing my best to fight, I was still a baby the spiritual realm. I fell for one too many lies and it destroyed my friendships, my business, my health and most of all my peace. These silly little tricks don’t anymore but I had to learn to deal with them like all men of God do—by getting bombarded with them.
The aftermath?
A few short months after that I was in:
- Deep financial debt
- I lost all my close friends
- And my business was dying before it even got off the ground
It’s hard to describe the heartache I was experiencing during this season but I’ll do my best.
Imagine this:
You see your mom suffering to her circumstances and you lack the power to change them for YEARS.
You destroy your academic career and chances of pursuing a highly respected career as a computer scientist as a declaration of your commitment to helping her which, ironically enough, only felt like a stab to her heart.
You start working whatever freelance jobs you could to make some money.
You commit yourself to a business in a market you know nothing about in hopes of acquiring wealth.
But after tons of hard work and finally seeing some traction in the business everything goes POOF in a few short months.
You’re now 40k in debt, you’ve lost all your friends, you have no one to help, your family needs financial support and your mom is now upset seeing you so miserable and anxious all the time cleaning toilets for work to get by when she’s always dreamt of seeing you as a doctor or an engineer, knowing full well you’re capable of acing any curriculum university would throw at you.
And you sit there.
…
Just staring at her watery eyes and weary heart as her soul groans in pain seeing her son so anxious incapable of doing a thing about it.
“I don’t like to see you like this, mom”
“I’m fine son, you don’t have to do anything for me. I just want to see you happy and healthy. That’s all I want from you.”
What would you do…?
It was during this season that I completely lost hope of ever having peace again.
Prior to this season dissociation had stolen it but now it was a whole other beast: anxiety. A constant sense of impending doom hanging over my neck.
It felt like dying each second of every day.
Throughout all of it, however, God didn’t leave me.
I forgot to mention, but I even lost my rottweiler during this period.
As I sat there one time in bed, crunched up in the fetus position, feeling the room closing in on me and my mind being pierced with a sharp and constant pain as if someone is repeatedly driving a javelin through my skull, I cried out to God.
“I can’t take this any longer. Just one breath from you and I’ll get through it. I can’t anymore!”
And *swoosh*
A gentle yet stern gust of wind rushed all over me. I felt a cool breeze glide over every inch of my body and with it left every fear and worry.
Instead of my adopted fear cocoon it was as if I stepped inside my mother’s womb again, floating in utter serenity.
And there it was.
I could reach and grab it.
Peace, was standing right in front of me and greeted me with a tender smile.
“I’m here. You can rest.”
“He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.” — Isaiah 40:29-31 NLT
After many heart-wrenching months, which felt like an eternity, I had hope of attaining peace again.
So I sought it with ruthless vigour from here on out.
I started deeply reflecting, in a frantic and erratic way, to figure out how I had landed at rock-bottom.
I was cheated, lied to and hurt but I maintained a ‘this is my fault’ mindset throughout all of it.
“What’s the point in giving up on my last shred of power? Pouring a sense of helplessness won’t help me, I must not shift blame.
THIS IS MY FAULT.
How can I move forward?
Surely something is to be done”
And something, indeed, was to be done.
I had to learn that God will work it all out in the end, but not before slaying the giant stood in front of me. I had to defeat the beast with its teeth lodged into me: anxiety.
Which meant it was time I confronted my mind.
- “Is God really who He says He is?”
- “I can’t actually not worry, right?”
- “Can I really trust God blind?”
- “Entrepreneurs are always stressed, it’s normal isn’t it? How can I ever defeat anxiety?”
Or in other words.. can I actually, genuinely and sincerely have peace throughout my day-to-day life?
A Conversation With My Mind
Perhaps in similar fashion to you, if someone tells me ‘I’m not to worry’ my brain bombards me with the 1000s of problems in my life.
It’s the natural reaction.
I mean.. let’s be serious here for a moment.
You can’t ACTUALLY not worry right?
RIGHT…??!!
“Perhaps man, I don’t know.”
“Well let’s see what God says?”
“Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” — Matthew 11:28-30 NIV
“And wasn’t it one of the first matters that Jesus tackled in his first major public speech from the sermon on the mount?”
“God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” — Matthew 5:4
“Yeah, it’s literally the second sentence He says.”
“Hmm.. I suppose life is indeed much more enjoyable if one has peace in his heart. What did that one podcaster say again about about how one grows in the direction of their thoughts?”
“I believe he said if you constantly think about your problems, they’ll only grow’.
“Well we’re doing a whole lot of that, aren’t we haha?”
“Yeah, let me find the research he mentioned to make sure.”
“ChatGPT, what do the articles from this podcast have to say about ruminating on problems?”
Worry Impairs Problem-Solving:
A rigorous experimental study by Llera & Newman (2020) found that worry actually impairs the problem-solving process. Participants who worried about their problems showed:
- Lower confidence in their solutions
- Lower experimenter-rated effectiveness of solutions
- Less intention to implement solutions
- More elevated worry and anxiety after attempting to solve problems[1][2]
Rumination Creates a Vicious Cycle:
Research shows that rumination (repetitive thinking about problems) has multiple negative consequences:
- Magnifies and prolongs negative mood states
- Interferes with problem-solving and instrumental behavior
- Reduces sensitivity to changing circumstances
- Acts as a transdiagnostic mental health vulnerability affecting anxiety, depression, and other conditions[3]
The Phenomenology Study:
Lyubomirsky et al. (1999) found that dysphoric rumination led participants to rate their problems as more severe and unsolvable, and reduced their likelihood of implementing solutions. The study showed that ruminative thought is characterized by negative tone, self-criticism, and reduced self-confidence.[4]
“But you can’t say we don’t have a lot of problems?”
“That’s not what I’m saying brother, but we add more problems on top by worrying all the time! You’re draining our brain with the energy it needs to solve the problems.”
“Okay, but what if we can’t solve them?”
“That’s nonsense talk, all problems all solvable.”
“True, I can’t even believe I’m saying this, we’re world champions for crying out loud.”
“So God wants me to feel rested?”
“I believe so, I mean it says it right here again. How many times have we read this psalm already?”
“The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name.” — Psalm 23:1-3 NLT
“Yeah, but what if it doesn’t apply to us? Isn’t that evident by the fact we’re in such dire circumstances? We’re 40k in debt!! How am I ever paying that off? I don’t even have a stable income, we’re living off the business and there’s nothing but problem after problem with the already very few projects we get”
“Shit, maybe you’re right. But what are we to do? I guess there’s no way but forward, we can’t give up now. I need a job, please find a job. Get a job, NOW!”
And so I got a job selling energy contracts door to door.
Not exactly what my mom had hoped for me, but I had to do something.
“Alright, we got a job. LET’S GO!”
“You still haven’t paid off your debt.”
“Now your entire day will be spent doing this.”
“I don’t even have time to train anymore.”
“Is the business bye-bye?”
“I could have been a computer scientist or psychologist, David…”
“Okay man, what do you want me to do? It is what it is, we just have to keep moving forward.”
And so the war with my mind continued for months.
Anyone who’s experienced burnout or went through incredibly stressful periods, you know what I’m talking about.
Thoughts would enter my mind, swift as a spark on dry tinder, and shoot through every vein and sinew dispersing fear & worry, leaving no organ or part unravaged by anxiety.
“My life has always been shit anyways. Who’s to say it’ll ever change? Look where we are. Rock bottom has become synonymous with home. Endless suffering is surely what’s been planned for me all along, you haven’t forgotten we come from war have you? We literally come from the most dangerous city in the world It’s always been shit like this and it’ll always stay like this.”
“Is that what God says?”
“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'” — Jeremiah 29:11 NLT
“Seems like we have an identity issue bro, time to get back to the mental lab. I can’t believe I’M saying these things. This is bad man, how did we get here? Let’s do some push ups.”
“Also, be very cautious not to bring about a self-fulfilling prophecy.”
“Wait, is that even biblical?”
“The fears of the wicked will be fulfilled; the hopes of the godly will be granted.” — Proverbs 10:24 NLT
“Seems like it is. Wow.. I didn’t know that.”
Here’s an actual reflection I wrote down from those days exactly as it was noted:
Why be stressed brother? There is only one reason and reason only to be stressed. That is if you’re not doing your best. Then you should see feeling stressed as a blessing, because that’s the energy you need to get things back in order. Plus, the lord has things under control. It is a sin to worry.
“What even are these feelings I’m so enslaved by?” What even are stress and anxiety?
I’m glad you asked.
Let’s find out.
The Neurochemistry Of Worry
Even though I could get very spiritual with this, there’s no need.
God gave us a mind to think and a body to nurture.
It is thus incumbent upon us to be sober-minded and do our best with what God has given us.
[Rant incoming]
There’s very few types of people that deeply irritate me, but Christians who ignore science are such one such type.
You really don’t believe we have a delicate and complex biology? Or that atoms exist? Or that stars are real? Really.. that’s your theory?
It’s the quickest way to lose all your credibility when sharing the gospel with unbelievers.
Sorry not sorry, if you’re offended, but you simply come across as arrogant, outright delusional and well.. a bit stupid.
God is infinite and way more capable than our understanding of Him and His creation.
It is an honour the we can observe the full beauty of His creation using science. Be that through physics, chemistry, engineering or any other legitimate science.
How could you possibly ignore what your own eyes observe?
You will bend God’s creation to your own theories and limited awareness, all so you don’t have to think of an elegant answer that fits both God & your seemingly inexplicable observation? That’s lazy, uncreative and in direct opposition of God’s character. God is far more creative than your limited worldview and you should be too if you want to represent Him.
[Rant finished]
All that to say: we will first use science to understand the mechanisms that govern worry, stress and anxiety.
I’ll keep things simple enough so everyone can follow. And by me I mean my trustworthy assistant ChatGPT.
Kudos to Andrew Huberman for source material.
What is stress?
- Definition: A physiological and psychological response to perceived demands, challenges, or threats that exceed one’s current resources or coping abilities.
- Function: Mobilizes energy and focus for immediate challenges (adaptive in short bursts), but chronic stress leads to cognitive impairment, immune dysfunction, cardiovascular problems, and mental health issues.
- Markers: Elevated heart rate, muscle tension, rapid breathing, irritability, difficulty concentrating, fatigue, and disrupted sleep. Chronic stress shows elevated baseline cortisol and sympathetic tone.
What is anxiety?
- Definition: A sustained state of heightened anticipatory arousal about potential or uncertain threats, even when no immediate danger is present.
- Function: Motivates vigilance and preparation, but chronic anxiety impairs cognition, sleep, and health.
- Markers: Restlessness, muscle tension, difficulty concentrating, sleep disturbance, and somatic symptoms alongside persistent worry.
How they differ and overlap
- Time horizon:
- Specificity:
- Duration:
- Experience:
It’s the combination of these 2 that is deadly.
Stress is for immediate problems that present themselves and anxiety is an ever-present lingering sensation in the back of your mind that whispers fear and doubt into your psyche.
“You’ll always stay here”.
“Your business is going nowhere.”
“What if the clients sue us?”
“What if
You want to be an entrepreneur and make good decisions?
“Okay, but I’m running a business how can I possibly not be stressed?”
You call yourself a warrior?
People are held captive by fear.
Honourable
You value being present?
“For all who have entered into God’s rest have rested from their labors, just as God did after creating the world. So let us do our best to enter that rest. But if we disobey God, as the people of Israel did, we will fall.” — Hebrews 4:10-11 NLT
- Finding it difficult to be present and enjoy the moment due to worry about the future.
Limited Emotions
Demons feed on fear and did their best to hold me captive in this realm of negative emotions.
In hindsight they had every right to, because there had been a generational curse on my back.
After I had the idea to take some time off. Sounded scary then..
“TIME OFF? I need to be working!”
“Let me just try this resting thing, David”
“Let’s spend some time with mom.”
As I sat there with my mother, casually conversing about various matters, I asked her about her childhood. I knew she’s the adventurous type and always wanted to travel the world.
“What was your childhood like?”
And so began to tell me stories
And then surely, but gradually, everything seemed to fall into place
No more debt, consistently scoring more clients, stable environment
Outro
“You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!” — Isaiah 26:3 NLT
So as things currently stand, I’m convinced that God actually wants me to fully live in peace.
I believe it’s immature to say one shouldn’t be prepared to all circumstances and diligent in planning, but to worry to the extent of fearing bad outcomes is worshipping the enemy.
And all my worship goes to the Lord.
So I will simply trust in what HE says. And since God can’t lie, I will hold him accountable to His word.
And I was that with the utmost humility.
Having said that, I would like to make a promise to myself. Feel free to do the same.
Actually, I want to take a leap of faith and do this together.
David, you
John 14:27 NLT[27] “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. https://bible.com/bible/116/jhn.14.27.NLT
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:6-7 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/php.4.6-7.NLT
For it is God himself who said:
“Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”
Matthew 11:28 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/mat.11.28.NLT
Peace.. at last.
Yours truly,
David Wayne
