You’re still a loser, because you lack wisdom.
If that sentence irritated you — good. I’m speaking to my old self here.
And to my successful future self, I say: thank you for choosing suffering over instant gratification.
Let me make one thing clear: What you’re about to read contains some of the most important lessons a young man will ever learn.
Especially if you’re ambitious.
I’m not here to entertain you.
I’m here to give you tools that I paid for with blood, sweat & many tears.
I’m a 21-year-old high school dropout who made $200,000… and lost all of it.
I’ve felt both the illusion of success and the violence of reality.
What I’m giving you now is wisdom I earned the hard way. The kind no classroom or quote thread will teach you.
This way, hopefully, you won’t have to suffer as much as I had to to achieve your goals.
But first, some context.
From my earliest memories, I remember seeking wisdom often.
The archetype of the wise old man has always fascinated me.
I come from a tribal-like community and elderly people always commanded the respect of more junior members. They were the leaders and in charge of the households. And somewhat scary too if I’m being honest. We used to gather around them with wide eyes and perked-up ears, listening to heroic stories filled with drama, but also deep, timeless lessons. Many of which I’ve had to learn the hard way later in life. They truly portrayed the archetype of the wise old man.
Being a kid though, I was oblivious to the fact that wisdom comes with suffering.
Arguably even obtained through suffering, as we’ll learn in this entry of The Wayne Letters.
And maybe… wisdom sought me too.
I come from the most dangerous city in the world, where survival was a daily prayer. Not a guarantee.
And have had to suffer through periods of extreme deprivation, confusion and despair at a very young age.
The following picture from a decade or so ago is still burned into my memory:
‘I was looking down from my balcony at an old and rusted Suzuki truck slowly passing by, cutting through dense traffic.
The streets are buzzing yet no one is looking with any degree of awe or disgust appropriate for the horrific situation at hand.
Mutilated bodies were thrown on top of each other in the back of the truck. Blood is everywhere, arms ripped apart, legs blown off and stomachs are open. And the smell…’
That horror — among many others — shaped my childhood and early teens.
The rest? Fighting, scarce resources, scorching hot days and lots of playing soccer & chess.
I distinctly remember feeling so helpless and wishing to wake up facing a different building than the grey, damaged and chip-painted one facing mine.
And asking myself the same questions on repeat:
- What’s the point?
- Will I ever get out of here?
- Will I survive today?
- Is someone in my family dying soon?
- Are ISIS militia chopping my head off tomorrow?
- Why me? Why all this suffering?
Which leads us to the first lesson and bitter-sweet paradox of life.
Lesson 1: Wisdom is both Suffering & Wealth
No tree can grow to heaven, unless its roots reach down to hell. – Carl Jung
There’s a sacred duality stitched into the fabric of reality.
A divine law authored by God himself.
It’s the law of cause & effect.
Everything comes at a cost.
To choose anything is to accept its consequences.
Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Not just physically, but spiritually, mentally, and emotionally.
Here’s the challenge:
It’s difficult to perceive the patterns. Or in other words, the cause of the effect is often difficult to single out.
This is caused by delay between action and reaction. You plant seeds today, but the fruit might not show for years. This delay is what confuses most people. They chase pleasure and ignore the pain it brings later. Or they reject discipline because the reward isn’t immediate.
Being a devout Christian man, I then hear the following argument often:
“But if everything has a cause, then who created god?”
On the surface, it seems like a fair question. But it misunderstands the very nature of causality.
The Eternal Dilemma
If everything had a cause, we’d be stuck in an endless loop of creators creating creators. A domino chain with no first push. And if there’s no starting point, then nothing could ever begin.
Yet here we are. Creation exists and you’re reading this now.
That means something beyond time, space and matter had to initiate everything.
A pencil doesn’t appear out of nowhere. It was made in a factory, boxed, shipped and bought. It’s a chain of causes, but that chain has to start somewhere.
The same is true for the universe. Science confirms:
That it had a beginning.
That It’s expanding
And that it’s running on limited energy.
Meaning It cannot be eternal.
Which begs the question, what is eternal?
“Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever you had formed the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting, you are God.” – Psalm 90:2
God doesn’t need a cause. He is uncaused. Eternal. Timeless.
He didn’t begin, He is the beginning. There is no end to him, He is the end.
He is the alpha and omega, the beginning and the end.
The king of kings and lord of lords.
When someone asks “Who created God?”, they’re thinking within time.
But God is outside of it and is the one who created it.
He wrote the very laws they’re trying to apply to Him.
So no one created God, He is creation itself.
Be Forged By The Fire
“I the Lord search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.” – Jeremiah 17:10 (ESV)
If you want to reach the top, you must first endure trials & tribulations.
You do not ascend by accident.
You rise because you endured something that tried to break you and chose to alchemize it into strength.
I had the privilege of being born in the harshest of environments, but not everyone does. So if you find yourself in a comfortable environment, ask yourself: Is this comfort worth more than who you could become?
And if you bravely choose discomfort instead, be prepared to pay the price.
My advice?
Do so with your chin up and chest out. As a man should.
See, most people want the fruit of wisdom and its many riches without planting the seeds.
- They want clarity without chaos.
- Confidence without criticism.
- Victory without sacrifice.
But that’s not how reality works.
This is why most people remain shallow and unwise. Blind to their own cycles of self-destruction.
It’s easy to believe that wisdom is a clean, academic concept. Something you pick up from a book or memorize for a test.
But real wisdom is different. It’s earned, not learned.
Embrace discomfort. Grow stronger. Be Free.
Let me explain.
The paradox of wisdom.
Here’s the bitter-sweet paradox of life. You want wisdom to avoid stupid mistakes & unnecessary pain. But you gain wisdom by making stupid mistakes and getting hurt.
That begs the question then: Is all suffering wisdom?
What if I just stub my toe? That’s painful, do I gain wisdom from that?
Not exactly.
You could argue there’s the lesson ,be more aware of your surroundings’
But that’s not “wisdom” is it?
I believe the following to be true.
Wisdom is the positive transformation of one’s suffering, toward a meaningful goal – David Wayne
Meaning there are 3 key ingredients to gaining wisdom:
Hardship & Pain. (motivation to change)
Reflection: the process of turning that pain into understanding.
Direction: anchoring it all to a purpose greater than yourself.
That’s how suffering becomes fuel for character.
The meaning-making process.
“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” — Friedrich Nietzsche
So how exactly do you extract valuable lessons from your pain?
The answer is simple: you need a goal.
- A vision to bring to life.
- A conquest to complete.
- A daughter to provide for.
- A wife to take care of.
- An enemy to defeat.
These are all worthy reasons to endure the suffering life will inevitably throw at you.
Without a goal, life becomes a random barrage of events.
Each pain and hardship hitting you without meaning, disorienting and confusing you.
But when you have a goal (or a vision) then even your suffering becomes educational. Because once you know what you’re aiming for, even the worst days teach you something.
During my darkest periods, the thought that I might one day share these lessons to spare someone else the pain I was enduring became a lifeline. It was a silent vow that helped me survive a psychosis from stress. That’s how bad it got at one point. And this is coming from a world record holder in push-ups. (sign up to my newsletter to know more about this world record.)
This isn’t just motivational fluff by the way. It’s neurobiological law.
It is physiologically impossible to experience positive emotions without a goal.
You must aim, pursue, and track progress towards your goal to to feel alive.
God designed us this way.
So what are you suffering for?
What is your why?
What will make you say: “Today might suck, but I’m attacking it with all my might regardless.”
Craft your vision, young man. Because one day, once you’re at rock bottom, motivation will vanish.
Fear will crawl into your gut and whisper into your ear that you’re not enough, loser.
And pain, real pain, will start whispering lies that sound like truth. Loser.
You’re a failure. You’re a nobody. You should have just listened to your dad. I told you you wouldn’t amount to anything. You’re not built for this. Just quit already. No one cares anyways. Dumbass, what a joke. Everyone sees it. And now look at you. Broke, broken, and alone. You’re nothing but a loser.
You’ll suddenly find yourself awake at 3AM, questioning every decision you’ve ever made. Hallucinating from regret (as I have).
Haunted by decisions no one clapped for.
No crowd. No cheers. Just the echo of your own choices and the pain they inflicted on you.
That’s when your vision saves you.
Not when everything is smooth sailing and sunshines & rainbows.
So if you haven’t yet, start developing one.
It will serve you greatly on your climb to greatness.
I promise.
Here then is the formula for rapid character development:
Have a goal —> shoot for it —> eat pain for breakfast, lunch and dinner —> fail —> reflect —> repeat.
Simple, not easy.
The Cycle of Wisdom
What I haven’t mentioned however is that your suffering gains even more meaning when you share the wisdom it gave you, completing the cycle of wisdom.
That’s the moment you stop being the student and become the tutor.
Which is exactly what I’m doing with this letter.
I’m turning my trauma into teachings, so none of it was in vain.
A quick note before moving on.
If you find this letter to be harsh in tone, that’s because it’s meant to be.
I’m writing it with a lot of pain in my heart and it’s mostly directed at my younger, more foolish self.
The lessons in here are extremely crucial to understand and apply. So yes, I’m yelling — not at you, but at the foolish kid I once was… so don’t take offense to it.
Instead, learn from it and tie these lesson around your heart as they will serve you greatly and save you a lot of suffering. So maybe… just maybe, you can earn wisdom from books/media.
If you’re willing to feel them.
Wisdom is wealth
“Joyful is the person who finds wisdom, the one who gains understanding. For wisdom is more profitable than silver, and her wages are better than gold. Wisdom is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her. She offers you long life in her right hand, and riches and honor in her left. – Proverbs 3:13-16 NLT
I’ll get to how I made & lost $200,000 in a moment, just stay with me for a second. Because by the end of this chapter, it’ll become crystal clear why wisdom must be your only pursuit as a young man.
- Not money.
- Not status.
- Not clout.
- Wisdom.
But why is wisdom more profitable than gold?
Why is it the real currency of life? And how can you acquire it?
For the ambitious men out there, listen carefully.
Understanding the following paragraph can change your life.
Buckle in.
Success is Wisdom in Action
Your accountable for your judgment. Judgment is the exercise of wisdom. Wisdom comes from experience. Gathering experience can be accelerated through quick iterations. – Naval
You’re not living your dream life because you lack judgment. Judgment is your ability to judge/analyse a situation and make the best decision possible. And most people never develop it. They chase results while ignoring the root cause of their setbacks: poor decisions.
No matter how disciplined or talented you are, if your judgment is flawed, your efforts will be misdirected.
Judgment, in other words, is your wisdom in motion.
If wisdom is vapor, then judgment is water.
Same substance. Different form.
Success is a series of choices. That’s it. Take a second to think about this.
Really take a second to think about this… success is nothing more than a series of good decisions, one after the other.
There are many timelines where you become wildly successful.
They’re real, possible and waiting.
- Fast cars.
- Luxurious homes.
- Stylish clothes.
- Gourmet food and world travel.
- A strong body.
- Loving relationships.
- A spouse who adores you.
- Children who love you.
Whatever your heart desires. It’s all there, waiting for you.
But it’s locked behind a series of decisions.
And the ONLY thing that separates your current life from that life… is the choices you make with your judgment.
Your path to success is made of LITERALLY NOTHING OTHER THAN A SERIES OF CHOICES. That’s what everyone has ever done to become successful. Every successful person you admire. Every person you look up to. Every person who has something you don’t.
- They set a goal and chased after it.
- Problems presented themselves.
- They apply judgment and solved those problems.
- They got closer to achieving their goals than before.
And after many cycles of this, they eventually achieve their goals.
That’s it. That’s all that anyone has done to become successful.
I’ll be writing a letter on systems & decision making frameworks soon. You can subscribe and be the first to receive these newsletters here. Upon subscribing I’ll give you a free course on business, decision-making & leverage. It won’t be free for long.
Bit if you’re feeling stuck or lack your direction in your life, this will help tremendously. But I digress.
An Ancient King
An ancient king, who later became known as the wisest person to have ever lived, understood this very well.
When king Solomon was granted one wish from God, he didn’t ask for riches. He didn’t ask for women, land, or power.
He asked for wisdom.
And because of that choice, he received everything else.
Not because wisdom is just “nice to have”, but because the exercise of wisdom, expressed through judgment, produces right decisions.
And right decisions are what create wealth, peace, power, and success.
“The Lord was pleased that Solomon had asked for wisdom. So God replied, ‘Because you have asked for wisdom in governing my people with justice and have not asked for a long life or wealth or the death of your enemies — I will give you what you asked for! I will give you a wise and understanding heart such as no one else has had or ever will have! And I will also give you what you did not ask for riches and fame! No other king in all the world will be compared to you for the rest of your life.’” – 1 Kings 3:10–13 (NLT)
Hone your judgment, and success becomes inevitable.
Lesson 2: Build Your Foundation First. In silence!
That was lot thus far before diving into the meat of the story, I knoThat was lot thus far before diving into the meat of the story, I know.
But this is meant to be a guide for all you young ambitious men out there. And by young I mean below 30.
Your foundation must be built upon these lessons. should you want to go far in life.
Take a breath if you’d like, reread the first lesson or go on a walk and continue reading once you’re ready to absorb the information coming at you. It’s the wise thing to do.
Alright, let’s continue shall we?
Since wisdom is the ability to make sound choices, and sound choices are the only path to a good life, real success, and becoming a man of value…
- What are some choices that are always smart to make?
- What are some stupid ones that one must always avoid?
- And which principles have stood the test of time for building a successful life?
In the following lessons, I’ll tell the story of how I made & lost 200k as a 21 year old.
And it all began with one decision: dropping out of high school.
Dropping Out of High School
Contrary to what most people might believe, dropping out of high school wasn’t a rebellious act.
It was a sacrifice and a gamble.
It was a war declaration on generational scarcity and a life of mediocrity.
Not to brag, but education came effortlessly for me. See god giveth & god taketh. I’ve had close to no resources my entire life, but I was gifted with intellect, a strong body and a relentless will forged by all the tribulations I’ve endured.
I come from what was once the most dangerous city in world: Aleppo, Syria. And within 10 months of immigrating to the Netherlands, I was already accepted to the highest level of education. Pretty impressive.
As time passed on and I completed my years with ease, I felt ever more comfortable. ‘Hmm, this is easy’, I thought to myself.
For someone who is used to war and the sound of bullets flying by and bombs dropping 24/7, something felt strange. No enemies to fight off, no dangerous places to avoid, no ISIS hunting me down.
I felt safe. It was all just… good. Too good.
I had set my eyes on becoming a psychologist and was well on track to do so.
And I say doctor, because in my family/community psychologists are called ‘Doctors of The Psyche’.
Finish high-school → 3-4 years university → and viola: I’m a doctor.
Easy peasy.
And that’s something of extreme value.
We all know the cliché of ‘only doctors, engineers, accountants or lawyers are acceptable career paths’ in Asian cultures.
Which is very true by the way AND for good reason.
Like it or not, your socioeconomic class in second and third world countries is mostly dictated by your level of education and the prestige of your job.
That’s how you get respect and all the benefits that come with it.
Unless you’re rich… of course.
Your parents’ job is to make sure you survive and thrive in this world, so it’s understandable that they push this so heavily on their children. Even though they come across as dictators, it’s out of care.
Shout out all my fellow traumatized Asians. Seek god for healing.
But I digress.
Now living in a 1st world country, it all just felt too safe. Too comfortable. Too familiar. Too calm. Too planned out.
I became cold and emotionless constantly trying to find ways to make myself uncomfortable. I found an obsession in push-ups to keep my mind occupied and became known as the “push-ups king” in my school, but it wasn’t enough.
And not to disclose any personal affairs, as we’ll learn in lesson 4 you shouldn’t, but some private matters were going on that were deeply infuriating.
And thus the idea of me dropping out and pursuing entrepreneurship (money) was born. It lingered in my mind for months and months, until I was eventually sitting there the last 2 days in my exams hall and decided not to write anything. 2 exams I left almost completely empty, thereby throwing away my entire academic career since I was 5 years old.
I was now 20 years old with no degrees and no resources, against the entire world.
Dropping out wasn’t the end, however. It was the moment I started building a different kind of foundation. One that couldn’t be measured in credits or certificates, but in results, craft, and character.
In the picture below is what I had written instead to my teacher.
Here’s an abbreviated version:
“Life is beautiful, god is great. Discomfort is the way, comfort is the enemy. Getting my diploma would be choosing the easy way out, and my heart and mind can’t allow this. Now that I’m nearing the end, I don’t see a different path ahead. My sincerest apologies for all of the inconvenience caused and wish me luck on my journey :)”
The devastation that followed
I’ll leave it to imagination how my parents reacted after finding out, but it wasn’t pretty.
The thing that hurt me most however, was the look of betrayal on my mom’s face when I first told her. She flinched with pain and her eyes teared up near instantly.
I could practically see her thoughts on her forehead:
- 15 years of preparing your food for school and this is how you repay me?
- All the stressful days worrying whether you’ll come back home safely. For what?
- All the homework I helped you with. For this? For NOTHING?
- Not even after I told you to do it for me? why?
- You don’t love me either?
All I was thinking at this time was ‘I did it FOR you, mom. I’m sacrificing my academic career for YOU. I don’t want to see you so sad all the time, it breaks my heart and I’m doing something about it. I’m throwing myself in deep waters to swim with the sharks and catch fish for you. DON’T YOU SEE?’
As hard as I tried to convince her all I got was tears in return.
Happy, joyous, worry-free and stress-free forever. That’s what I wanted to pay her back, but she couldn’t see it.
And rightly so… for nothing had materialized yet.
So from the bottom of my heart, I’m sorry I hurt you mom.
It wasn’t my intention.
To make the risk even greater, I’m also the first real entrepreneur in my family. There’s no else I could follow in their footsteps.
Thus choosing entrepreneurship has been a huge sacrifice on all levels, but it had to be done.
The generational curses and traditions of living in scarcity had to broken. And the association with it had to be uprooted from my family tree.
But most importantly, my mom’s pain was to be alleviated.
In a very real way, I robbed my parents of a great joy. Perhaps their greatest joy.
And that hurt… still hurts.
But in the end, it’ll pay off and I believe that every tear of sadness shall turn to a tear of joy.
For God is with me, so who can be against me?
Moving Out to a Different Country
Rubbing salt to injury, a brief period afterwards, I decided to move out to Germany with by closest friends. There were 6 of us in total.
I was arguing with my dad a lot during this season and eventually got so fed up that I wanted to find a place of my own… the story continues in the next lesson.
Build Your Base
We have to stop and analyse what had just happened for a moment.
This lesson is especially important for the younger men out there.
